In talking to the mother of one of my clients, I was struck by the level of blame she had placed…..on herself.
Dyslexia is inherited. That’s a fact I am aware of, but had never taken in the implications of. My child is severely dyslexic. For me, that meant I needed to work harder, and to find help, and to support him, and to inform his teachers about his condition, on an ongoing basis. But never had the idea that I was to blame crossed my mind.
I guess I had decided that the dyslexia had come from my husband’s side of the family. As a severely AD/HD kid growing up in an era where that “didn’t exist”, my husband was just the “bad” kid with an undiagnosed vision problem. The glasses didn’t help his AD/HD in older years. ..but he was so far behind he had a ready excuse, and teachers just passed him through school. It seemed reasonable to toss the dyslexia issue his way too.
The fact that my spelling is dodgy, I couldn’t figure out an analog clock for years, I can still get lost in shopping mall when I can’t orient myself on the sun….oh and did I mention my mother inverting words as she helped me study for my certification?? Hmmmm. …time to rethink where this is coming from!
But blame?? No — that won’t help anyone. It’s not my child’s fault. It’s not my fault. It is NOT the teachers fault.
Dyslexia is a difference in learning that must be addressed…by all of us. ..working together.
So here’s a tissue. Blow your nose, dry your eyes, curb your anger and please forgive yourself/spouse/parents/teachers/etc so we can move on to something more positive.
Helping people with dyslexia learn in a manner in which they can.
Supporting all people to recognize their intelligence in ways that don’t involve just reading and writing.
Allowing teachers to see ways that they can be part of the solution.
And forgiving everyone for “not catching this sooner”.
Together we can end The Blame Game.